PART ONE | You Lost Me: Why Young Christians Are Leaving Church And Rethinking Faith
January 3, 2016
You Lost Me: Why Young Christians Are Leaving the Church
Rev. Aaron Hobbs
Gospel Text: Luke 15: 1-7
Luke 15:1-7 (NRSV) – Now all the tax collectors and sinners were coming near to listen to him. 2And the Pharisees and the scribes were grumbling and saying, “This fellow welcomes sinners and eats with them.” 3So he told them this parable: 4“Which one of you, having a hundred sheep and losing one of them, does not leave the ninety-nine in the wilderness and go after the one that is lost until he finds it? 5When he has found it, he lays it on his shoulders and rejoices. 6And when he comes home, he calls together his friends and neighbors, saying to them, ‘Rejoice with me, for I have found my sheep that was lost.’ 7Just so, I tell you, there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who need no repentance.
Over the last couple of weeks since we have been promoting this sermon series, I have been asked, “Why are we spending three weeks talking about a particular generation, and especially when it seems to be a generation that is turning its back on the church at an alarming rate?
I hope our Gospel reading this morning from Luke makes the reason clear.
We care if people who have grown up in the church and have been very active as teenagers are leaving because God makes it quite evident that He cares for anything and anyone who is lost.
Throughout the 15th chapter of Luke’s Gospel, Jesus illustrates this point with lost sheep, lost coins, and a lost son, but we should hear lost daughter here, too.
Now sheep are sheep, coins are coins, and children are children, except that these sheep, coins, and children are lost. That is what makes them particularly special to God. The Pharisees and Scribes, the religious elite of Jesus’ day, did not care for the lost as much as they cared that good people followed the letter of the religious Law. They saw the lost as an irritant and something to hold up as a negative example, but never something to seek out for restoration.
In our Gospel reading this morning Jesus asks a ridiculous question in response to the Pharisee’s and Scribe’s grumbling about the company Jesus is keeping with tax collectors and sinners.
Jesus asks:
“Which one of you, having a hundred sheep and losing one of them, does not leave the ninety-nine in the wilderness and go after the one that is lost until he finds it? (Luke 15:4)
You can almost hear the instant grumbling, can’t you? “Duh, Jesus, none of us. What kind of shepherd would put 99 sheep at risk for 1? An about to be sheep-less shepherd, that’s who. It is ridiculous to even imagine such a thing. Obviously this Jesus character has never “shepped” a sheep in his whole life. Just ridiculous.”
And if Jesus was giving advice on shepherding it would be ridiculous.
But Jesus is not really talking about sheep and shepherding, is he?
Jesus is making a point about the nature of God. God loves all of his sheep, especially the lost ones.
He wants all of his children to know and love him just as he knows and loves them. And when the lost are found, there is rejoicing in heaven.
And as Jesus often points out in the Gospels, if we figure out what is going on in heaven, we discover how things are meant to be here on earth. (Paraphrasing N.T. Wright’s statement in Luke for Everyone, 184)
So if even the angels in heaven are joining the party when the lost are found, we too should be celebrating, and our hearts should be filled to do everything in our power to be a part of Jesus’ reclamation project of anything that is lost.
I believe we have a special burden for the Millennial generation because we as the church have in some ways contributed both actively and passively in getting some of these young people lost – a fact that I am sure also grieves Jesus.
So over the next three weeks, we are going to take a look at a generation of people who grew up as Christians, but have begun to reject the church as they enter adulthood. I hope and pray that you will open up your heart and your mind, and put away the natural tendency to finger point and get defensive, so that you can hear the critiques and criticisms of this generation who may have not turned their back on Jesus, but have turned away from his Bride, the Church.
Most of our demographic data on Mosaics, or more commonly known as Millennials, used for this series comes from research conducted by the Barna Group, and presented in David Kinnaman’s book, You Lost Me.
The term Millennials is just like other commonly used terms used to broadly describe generations. It is similar to the terms Boomers, Busters or Gen-X, etc. The Millennial generation is now the largest generation in U.S. history. There are around 92 million Millennials, compared to 61 million Gen-Xers, and 77 million Boomers.
Please understand, just like all generational descriptions, not all people in any generation think, act, or feel the same way. Generational descriptors are always data driven, but each person has a story of their own. So please don’t’ leave here today and go to the nearest restaurant and tell your server, “Oh, you’re a Millennial, I just heard at church that you think X, Y, & Z”.
Just like all Boomers and Gen-Xers have a story of their own, Millennials do, too.
In general, Millennials can be described as social, connected, confident, digitally native, health conscious, creative, entitled, team-oriented, tolerant, they embrace diversity, and want to make a difference. Most have good relationships with their parents, while they also do not share all of the same values.
In our introduction video we heard there is definitely a problem when 59% of young adults between 18-29 who were raised in the Christian faith drop out of church.
This number represents millions of real life people, sons and daughters, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, friends, and neighbors.
Now I realize some of you also left the church following high school and then returned after you got married or had kids, and it is easy to assume that will happen with this generation, but what the research is showing is that this may not be the case this time.
This generation is not just leaving because they went off to college, are busy building their careers, seeking a mate, and hanging out with friends. Rather, they have some real and deeply felt issues about the faith they have been given, and they are experiencing a disconnect between their Christian faith and contemporary culture. And unfortunately, their received faith is often too shallow to provide them with adequate answers to their questions and their doubts.
Some of this disequilibrium is normal as adolescents transition to adulthood, but our rapidly changing world, our fast-paced technological advancement, and unlimited access to information has sped things up exponentially. No generation of Christians has lived through a set of cultural changes so profound and lightning fast.
This new reality can be summed up in three words: Access, Alienation, and Authority.
First, lets touch briefly on Access. For the Millennial generation technology is native. They have never been without it. Technology for the rest of us is like a second language that we have had to learn, but it is just part of who they are. This coupled with unprecedented 24-hour a day access, to unlimited information, on an unlimited number of topics, from unlimited sources, of varying degrees of accuracy and point-of-view, makes it easy to see why young adults might have difficulty navigating the world in which they find themselves today.
The second seismic cultural shift facing Millennials is Alienation. Several factors play a role in this reality: 1.) In relation to the family, father absence is a key change. In the 1960’s, 5% of live births were to unmarried women; currently it is 42%. Today’s kids are 8 times more likely to have entered the world without married parents as Boomers were. This coupled with rising divorce rates has also created new understandings of what it means to be a family. 2.) Millennials largely have less long-term loyalty to employers than past generations, 3.) And they are skeptical, if not cynical, about many of the institutions that have shaped our society, including marriage, the church, government, and civic organizations.
The final large cultural shift is related to Authority. Millennials largely maintain a skepticism of authority – of who to believe and why. The authority of the Church and Scripture has dwindled in the U.S. over the past 130 years, as fewer people participate in regular worship and Bible Study. Much of this attitude is inherited behavior from their parents who have shown Christian faith to be an “add on” – just one of many things claiming authority on their lives – instead of it being the primary authority.
These cultural realities have laid the foundation for the drop out problem, and the Church itself has had its part to play, as well.
The You Lost Me research identifies 6 broad reasons why young people are leaving the church. They see the church as: 1.) Overprotective, 2.) Shallow, 3.) Anti-Science, 4.) Repressive, 5.) Exclusive, and 6.) Doubtless. (92-93)
We should not want to be any of these things as the Church, especially because Jesus was not any of these things.
So over the next three weeks we are going to briefly look at each of the 6 critiques and criticisms, and also begin to think about how we can respond by rethinking our disciple-making process. Because at the core of who we are to be as members of the Body of Christ, the Church, is Christ’s call for us to make disciples. The drop out problem at its root level is a disciple-making problem.
So today we are going to focus on the first two – Overprotective and Shallow. So let’s start out with overprotective.
Seat belts in new cars were not available until the 1950’s, and they were not required safety equipment in new cars until 1968, but usage remained quite low until the mid 1980’s when states began implementing enforcement laws. Child Car Seats were not federally mandated in the U.S. until 1985.
I vividly remember sitting in the front seat of my parent’s car when I was around 8 and we were in an accident and my dad’s arm was what kept my sister and I from being seriously injured. Anyone else remember the arm airbag?
I was born in 1972, and back then only race car drivers wore helmets, definitely not kids cruising around the neighborhood; my parents left us alone in the car (often running) while they ran into the store to pick up some milk; I was allowed to try something and fail; and only Little League winners got trophies. I know, how did I ever survive?
Now I’m not saying this time was better or worse than today, but things definitely have changed.
The parents of Millennials have been deeply shaped by our culture’s growing obsession with safety as a whole, largely driven by liability claims that shifted the burden from personal responsibility, to corporate responsibility.
For example: If you burn your lip on hot coffee, it is not your fault because someone at the business should have placed a warning on the cup that the beverage that is always served hot is actually indeed hot.
Or if your kid does not study, is always goofing around in class, and flunks an algebra test, it is not your child’s fault – obviously the teacher or school system is to blame.
It is with this generation where the term “helicopter parent” originates.
Helicopter parents themselves have become risk adverse and therefore hover over their children to keep them safe from all dangers. They try to shelter them from the hot and cold realities, and sharp edges of life. But they do not just try to keep them physically safe; they also try to protect them from failure and negative consequences of all kinds. (96) And these parents have also sought out the church to help them in protecting their children from the difficult realities of the world.
As a result Millennials often feel ill equipped and unprepared for the real world they find when they leave home after high school. The easy answers they have been given just don’t seem to hold water in the real world.
And it is at this point where they tend to blame both parents and the church for not giving them what they need to successfully navigate the ever-changing world they encounter outside of our protective environments. And I think they are probably right, parents and the church do shoulder much of the blame.
Nathan, a young adult interviewed, comments, “Much of our upbringing was very fear- based to get you to do something as opposed to giving you logical reasons why you should or should not do something.” (95)
This creates a struggle in Millennials and often leads to paralyzing self doubt, and a failure to launch in regard to leaving home, starting a career, getting married, and having children of their own.
While Millennials often appreciate the easy life their parents largely provided for them growing up, they also recognize it has left them incapable of making tough decisions on their own. And they feel the church has only added to the problem by: 1.) Demonizing everything outside of the Christian culture (which is largely fabricated in what has been called “The Christian Industrial Complex” of “Christian” music, concerts, festivals, conferences, books, radio & TV programs, etc.), including people of other faiths and secular music and movies, 2.) Creating a false separation between sacred and secular that they do not see, and 3.) Projecting an impression that we don’t want to deal with the complexities or realities of our ever-changing world today. (97-98)
Many Christian Millennials are often drawn to engaging in culture in all of its complexities, and having a positive impact on it, but too often they also feel the risk-free faith they have been given lacks the depth required for the task.
“An overprotected generation has been sold the lie that ‘Christian living’ means material blessing, automatic protection, and bulletproof safety. Two millennia of Christian martyrs beg to differ, and many young adults today are interested in those martyrs’ lives of jeopardy and fulfillment.” (105-106)
So what can we do, to help young adults recognize that following Jesus is a risky, and wild adventure worthy of their lives?
We need to first recognize where we have given the impression that following Jesus is boring or safe. It is neither. We need to be honest about our own fears, doubts, and questions, and be willing to sit with the mystery of faith instead of jumping to easy answers.
We also must help young adults connect the good actions they are drawn to, back to the One who makes all of these things possible.
For far too long we have acted like the good gifts of God come to us by our creation or our hard work, instead of from God, and unfortunately our kids have been watching.
But they are longing for something more.
We desperately need to turn from overprotectiveness to discernment.
We need the overprotectiveness that makes strict rules on media consumption to “save the kids from smut” to be replaced by discernment which watches, listens, and reads together as a faithful community. (104)
We need the overprotectiveness that discourages risk taking and uses fear to “protect” the next generation to turn to discernment which guides young people to trust God fearlessly and follow Christ in the power of the Holy Spirit, even at the risk of their lives, reputations, and worldly success. (104)
We need the overprotectiveness that paints a false picture of reality that hurts young people far more in the long run than honesty would in the short run to turn to discernment that develops a robust theology of calling that recognizes each person’s gifts as wonderful blessings from God which they can use for God’s Kingdom purposes.
We need the overprotectiveness that tries to convince young people that the only way to serve God is within the confines of the church walls and move toward discernment that recognizes there is no difference between sacred jobs and secular professions.
Dutch theologian and politician, Abraham Kuyper reminds us, “No single piece of our mental world is to be hermetically sealed off from the rest, and there is not a square inch in the whole domain of our human existence over which Christ, who is Sovereign over all, does not cry: ‘Mine!’” (105)
A growing sentiment of this generation is that they want to be, as Gabe Lyons observes, “a counter-culture for the common good.” They want to follow Christ in a way that does not separate them from the culture. They want to be culture makers, not culture avoiders. (107)
Some young believers though are also reluctant to be linked to the “Christian tribe,” which has a decidedly negative reputation in many sectors of our society. It’s not that they hide their faith; they are just intentional about when and to whom they reveal it.
Rather than judge these young people as being ashamed of the Gospel,
we should think of them as missionaries to a foreign culture that knows very little about Christ, and help them discern how they can live out their faith in powerful ways.
The second critique of the Church by Millennials is that it is shallow.
When I first saw this heading, I assumed the critique was related to how they had experienced Christians in their congregations – as shallow. But this was not what shallow meant. Rather than a critique of people in the church, it was a critique of the faith they had been given.
Here are a few examples of shallow in their own words:
“Faith is boring.”
“Faith is not relevant to my career or my interests.”
“My church does not prepare me for real life.”
These statements reveal a deep disconnect between the faith they have received and faith in Jesus Christ who said, “If any want to become my followers, let them deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me.”(Luke 9:23)
Or as German pastor and theologian Dietrich Bonhoeffer wrote in The Cost of Discipleship, “When Christ calls a man, He bids him come and die.”
The Gospel is serious business, but for many Millennials the faith they have inherited “is a lifeless shadow of historic Christianity, which insists following Jesus is a way of life, not a laundry list of vague beliefs that have little meaning for how we spend our lives.” (114)
Much of this disconnection “stems ultimately from the failure of the church to impart Christianity as a comprehensive way of understanding reality and living fully in today’s culture.” (114) Without this vital connection, faith seems boring and irrelevant, and God seems quite distant and disinterested in the day-to-day lives of young people.
In Christian Smith and Melinda Lundquist’s book Soul Searching, they famously labeled the religion of today’s young Americans “Moralistic Therapeutic Deism.” This is described like this: “God is something like a combination of Divine Butler and Cosmic Therapist: he is always on call, takes care of any problems that arise, professionally helps his people feel better about themselves, and does not become too personally involved in the process.” (Soul Searching, 165)
This type of shallow faith does not require the nurture of a faith community to thrive, so it makes sense that they would fade away from the church.
Millennials also are overly confident in their Biblical and theological knowledge. But most studies find little evidence linking their confidence to actual knowledge of Scripture or ability to demonstrate key theological understandings. Overconfidence in general is also another byproduct of our overprotective attitudes toward our children where we say no matter what you do it is “great,” even if in reality it is quite mediocre.
“All of this leads to a faith that lacks one essential ingredient: humility. If you already know all there is to know, if you’ve been told your entire life that you’re ‘just right’ exactly the way you are, if the main job of the ‘god’ you believe in is to make you feel good about yourself (because you’re entitled to great self-esteem, along with everything else), then there are not a lot of compelling reasons to sit in the dirt at the feet of Jesus and live a humble life of a disciple.” (118)
“To follow Jesus, young adults in the next generation – just like the generations before them – will have to learn humility.” (118)
And that leads us to what we must do to transmit a faith worthy of Jesus and the lives of young adults.
The first thing we must do is recapture an apprenticeship model of discipleship. Christian disciples are not born, they are made one at a time. And the way they are made best, just as Jesus modeled, is through deep relationships.
Many of you I’m sure can probably name a person who has deeply impacted your life and spiritual development – someone who invested time in you and encouraged you toward greater heights.
Sadly only 39% of Protestant young adults said they had a close personal friendship with an adult in their congregation, and only 17% had an adult mentor other than a pastor or church staff member. (119) We need to provide these opportunities for our young people to live their life of faith beside older adults who can share their wisdom and depth of faith experience.
I’m thankful to report that each year we have several adults here at First Church invest themselves in mentoring young people through ORANGE Express, our Confirmation program, and in our Middle School and High School Student Ministries. People who model Christian faith and do not shy away from the questions and doubts of younger generations. And while we are having an impact, we still need more people willing to step up and mentor the next generation.
Second we need to give our young people an experience of God. Many admit they are frustrated with their faith because “God seems missing from my church experience.” They see a gap between what they read in the Bible of stories of Jesus’ miracles, barriers being broken down, and bold risk-taking, and the flat, lifeless experience of church they’ve encountered. We must do better at connecting the dots between Scripture and experience.
We also must be willing to risk our own comfort. The Millennial generation hungers for substantive answers to life’s biggest questions, and the Church should project itself as a place where doubts and questions are welcomed, trusting in the Holy Spirit to guide us together. Millennials have access to lots of information about what to do; what they are missing is addressing how and why.
Lastly, we need to reclaim the language of calling. Throughout Scripture ordinary people are called to extraordinary tasks. People like Abraham, Moses, the prophets, David, and the 12 Disciples, just to name a few.
However, many Millennials have lost the language to name their purpose in life as a calling. An example from a young adult named Tracy reveals this lack of call recognition.
Tracy studied international affairs in college and now works with vulnerable populations abroad. She shares, “Working with vulnerable people is so cool. I see my work as more than a nine-to-five thing. I mean, I think this is so important. I don’t think I will ever see development as just a job.” When the interviewer stated, “It’s a calling,” Tracy looked back at him genuinely confused. The interviewer added, “I mean, it seems like God put it in your heart. You were made for it.”
Tracy replied, “Oh, huh? I never thought of my interest in helping the poor around the world as a calling from God. It just feels like in America everyone keeps faith separate from work and life.” She then paused for a long thoughtful moment and said; “I guess maybe it is a calling for me.”
We must give our young people the rich language of calling and honor them and their gifts as they deploy them in service to God regardless of their chosen profession.
While young adults today have many critiques and criticisms leveled at the Christian faith they have received, there is some good news. First, of all God is always with us and we can trust He will help us navigate our ever changing culture. And it is good news that “the majority of young drop outs are not walking away from their faith, rather they are putting involvement in church on hold. In other words, most young Christians are struggling less with their faith in Christ than with their experience of church.”
So we need to hear these critiques and do our best to breakdown barriers that are getting in the way of discipleing young adults in the ways of Jesus for the good of Christ’s Kingdom.
But Millennials, and many of us, also need to avoid the pitfall of reducing the Church to merely an option. Hebrews 10:24-25 says, 24And let us consider how to provoke one another to love and good deeds, 25not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day approaching.” Church is a place to be encouraged, but participation is about much more than just what you get out of it. Worship is our offering to God that we make in response to all of the good gifts of life, love, and grace that God has given us. As members of the Body of Christ, we shine forth light on the one who is worthy of our praise and worship, and He shines light on all that is.
Millennials surveyed often made statements like, “I’m a big fan of Jesus, but not of the Church.” And while this may sound reasonable to some, I doubt it sounds too reasonable to Jesus who calls the Church his bride. To say you like Jesus but not the church is like saying, “You are a big fan of mine and you want to be my best friend, but you hate my wife.” Guess what, we are not going to be best friends. If you love Jesus, you have to love His Church, too. That does not mean you cannot critique it and call it to greater faithfulness, in fact, I believe this is part of what it means to be a part of the Body of Christ. But you cannot do that well from outside.
Millennials, the Church needs you and you need the Church. We need your passion, we need your questions, we need your doubts, and we need your desire to make a difference in the world to drive us all toward greater faithfulness. But you need the Church, too, to help you recognize your gifts and vocation in God, to provide you with spiritual mentors, and to help you collaborate with others in the disciple-making mission of Jesus Christ.
I’m hopeful that together we can begin to move toward an expression of faith that is worthy of Christ’s sacrifice, and helps us to reclaim what it means to truly be a disciple today.
There is rejoicing in heaven when what is lost is found. Let us prepare ourselves for the celebration.